I'm a Parent?!

Today I saw journal at the Emporium shop at Thanksgiving Point. I began crying when I read what was on the front of it for two reasons;

1. I am completely hormonal (I am definitely going to ask God why after all the trauma we go through with pregnancy and labor and delivery, he still finds the need to add the raging hormones to post pardum. As if adjusting to an infant, sleep deprivation, and body healing aren't enough.)

2. Because I have up days and down days of this whole parenting thing and I couldn't believe that there is another person out there who could sum up EXACTLY how I feel, word for word, on the front of a journal. This is what it read:

A journal to ponder the unfathomable circumstance that I somehow have offspring even though I have no idea what I'm doing but it sure seems like everybody else does because they're not stinting on the advice as if I don't love my kid which of course I do but the little bugger is going to need therapy no matter what and in all honesty I couldn't adore him more but sometimes I think I am going out of my mind with frustration and self-doubt.

Wow. Parenthood is an adjustment and I really do enjoy the overall experience, but absolutely no one can prepare you for how tough this whole thing is. The learning curve is more difficult than an upper level statistics course. I have always heard that your baby is completely dependent on you. I guess I just didn't realize how dependent. Everything I do from a pill I take to the food I eat, affects him, even more than it did in pregnancy. It's a bit overwhelming.

So this morning as I drink a cup of coffee and watch my beautiful son cuddle on his Dad's chest I take comfort and peace in knowing this one fact; I love my kid and although this will be the toughest challenge of trial and error, eventually I will have a little Nash manual that only Isaac and I will know best, full of nuggets of wisdom and material to embarrass him later in life.

And I'm pretty sure that is what it is all about.